Terrible Mother

I am beginning to feel that I am a terrible mother.

On Monday our 18 year old daughter is setting off to travel around Europe by train, on her own!



I've left a gap for the sharp intake of breath every one seems to have when I relate this information. There then follows an incredulous, "Aren't you worried? or "I don't know that I'd let my daughter do that!" One person followed up her comment of "She's brave." with a series of horror stories about abductions!

I also smiled slightly yesterday however at the reaction of the mothers in the parents group I run. They all said that they would not sleep if their daughter was going off on a trip alone and if they did they would have nightmares.

I found it rather ironic because what they would see as normal teenage behaviour for a young girl really would horrify me. I would be far more worried if my daughter was spending all her hard earned cash binge drinking. I would be far more worried if she was going on an 18+ holiday to Majorca. I would be far more worried if she was obsessed with her weight. I would be far more horrified if she was contemplating moving in with her boyfriend, which all of them did when they were her age or younger. I am more concerned about the fact that she didn't agree with me that the bingo game at the pub quiz she went to was gambling!

Actually I am full of admiration for our Hayley and have confidence in her mature, common sense attitude.

I think the difference between me and some of the parents, is that my concern for her is really about what might attack her mind and heart than the physical dangers of travelling alone. And those attacks and pressures have been and will more intense in the work place and at uni than during this trip.

Nevertheless I am not naive and we have put all kinds of safeguards in place for her, like booking accommodation in advance, contacting my cousin who lives in Germany and linking her with a number of SA centres on her carefully planned route and insisting that she phones us every day. And of course first and foremost committing her to God and praying for her every step of the way.

So what do you think?

God bless

Carol

The power of prayer

In my reports from Ethiopia I mentioned a woman called Desenia which means my sister. We met her in one of the prisons and she has a 22 year sentence for murdering her husband. We know nothing more of the case, other than women in Ethiopia are sometimes driven to desperate measures to escape abuse and the pressures of the hard life they lead.

When we met her, Desenia was very upset about her children. Through translators we understood that her eldest had a job as a domestic and her younger children had been trafficked. There was some misunderstanding because of dialects and we have since discovered that the younger children are with her dead husbands family and are OK. Having said this it is unlikely Desenia will ever see them again. However it was her 14 year old daughter that she was really worried about. Apparently she had run away when her mother was imprisoned because she was worried about reprisals for the murder of her father. She was the one who ended up in some kind of bonded labour and was extremely unhappy.

Desinia's story touched all of us and we have really prayed for her. There is fantastic news!
Last week another couple of friends from Northallerton were out in Ethiopia and visited Desenia again. Prison Fellowship in Ethiopia located the girl. She has been brought to the town where her mother is imprisoned and is being looked after by one of the prison officers. She is able to see Desenia on a regular basis. Prison Fellowship in Northallerton have offered to sponser some of her educational needs.

We don't know the faith background of those involved but it seems that the prison officer who is caring for Desenia's daughter is very wary about Christian influence. She was reassured that our support is unconditional, although we would of course dearly love them all to come to know Jesus. We would be grateful for your prayers.

God bless

Carol

Wilberforce, National Treasures and revival

We went to see the film Amazing Grace last night. I admit it, I cried at the end. Now that is something of an admission because whilst the rest of my family cry at Bambi, I am known as never crying in films. Acutally it wasn't the film that brought the tears but the statement by one of the characters, "The slave trade has now ended." It was all I could do, not to stand up and shout, "If only that were true."

Anyway it's a great film.

This morning the radio was turned to Radio 2 and Sarah Kennedy was going on about some latest newspaper survey about British National treasures. She was joking about why Wogan wasn't on the list. The list includes, Elton John, Judi Dench and Richard Hammond. These are the characters that apparently the British people see as contributing to the national good and for whom we have great affection. They may be very nice people but national treasures?
Where are the Wilberforce's, the Shaftsbury's, the Booths of our day? Well I suppose we have Bono..........

And revival. Well perhaps that's it. We need a revival to raise up people in our nation who will change society.
Pete Grieg, in Awakening Cry, which I am reading at the moment sees "revival as an extraordinary work of a sovereign God that revitalises the church and transforms society."

His other definition of it is:
"Revival is a process that restores the church to her normative state: as the agent of Christ on earth. It is initiated by God, in reponse to prayerful prepartation, and it is marked by an extraordinary awareness of God in the community at large, particularly among the poor."


God bless

Carol

Awakening Cry

I've just started reading Awakening Cry by Pete Grieg. I like what I've read so far, which is only the first chapter.

Here he addresses an issue that I blogged about a while backwhich is, revival and normality.
Pete Grieg quotes Robert Coleman, "From the standpoint of New Testement Christianity, there is nothing unusual about the revival experience...... The idea that revival is something of special times and seasons comes from the inconsistant nature of man, not from the will of God."

Pete continues, "Coleman is suggesting that we should regard revival as the revival of normal Christian experience rather than the occasional elevation of it. We are, therefore, currently sub-normal!

He goes on to say:

"Most people assume that revivals are only ever meant to be limited seasons of blessing; an occasional energy boost for an otherwise languid church. Some respected revival theologians argue that God only ever intends the church to advance through sporadic growth spurts; loping down the years from one revival to the next- two steps forward and one step back."

"But the early church appears to have lived in a fairly constant state of revival for nearly three centuries!............The revivals come and go because we are in a battle and not because God intends the church to endure seasons of sub-normality."


The state the church at least in the UK is in is not normal and we shouldn't settle for it.

God bless

Carol

Testifying to the blessing

I recently gave my testimony at Divisional Councils. I intended to just express my thanks to God for our 23 years in the Yorkshire Division and that we were excited about what God had in store in the future. I found myself testifying to the blessing of holiness. I sat down, thinking that's really done it now because as soon as you testify to living a holy life someone is bound to be thinking, "What a hyprocrite! I bet her husband and her kids could tell a different story!

But it wasn't done in arrogance but in thankfulness. In my early years of officership I was so bound by fears and pride that my service for God was debilitated in many ways but the Lord broke the chains. I know it is possible to overcome the strongholds of sin and live in oneness with Christ on a daily basis.

Thankfully people were gracious and the comment was made that it was a long time since they had heard anyone testify along these lines. I did so in the hope that others might believe for themselves.

I have joined in a debate on holiness that is on Andrew Bale's blog, beyond the brook
The following is my contribution and how I view my daily experience:

"What an inadequate salvation anonymous suggests we have been provided with.

a) Anon says “we strive for holiness but in our broken way……”

Response: Why do so many Christians insist that salvation is through faith but holiness is down to our striving to achieve it?

b)Anon says, "We continue to struggle with sin because sin, the brokenness of all creation is still a problem…….."
Response: I thought Paul said that “If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come.”

c) Anon says “my own decision to consecrate myself will never be perfect.
Response:
I read once that there are four parts to me
the part known to all
the part known to me and not to others
the part known to others and not to me
the part that is unknown except to God

My understanding of my heart is inadequate and in that sense my decision to consecrate myself will never be perfect. I might be naïve but I simply come to God on a daily basis and lay what I know and what I don’t know about myself on the altar. It’s not a worthy offering in itself but is acceptable because of Jesus’ blood. But just as in the OT the offering on the altar was consumed by fire so I believe through faith is the offering of my life. My offering is not only accepted but transformed through the fire of the Holy Spirit. And because we are in New Covenant times it is a living sacrifice that God can use.

And where the growing in holiness takes place is in the Holy Spirit being at work within to enable me to be honest about the parts known to me and not to others, to receive help from others about the stuff known to them and not to me. The Holy Spirit also reveals in his time and in his way what is hidden to all but God. Then as I am fond of quoting, "my consecration must keep pace with God's revelation." (William Booth)
All still goes on the altar for the fire to consume and use.

God bless


Carol

Being holy on a Wednesday.

It's not easy being holy on a Wednesday,

-when you start your day with a visit to the dentist.
-when you are in the limbo of being under marching orders but have another four months to go
-when the ironing is breeding in the basket
-when some of the lads in the prison group were a pain today
-when you disagree with someone about an issue
-when you are unsure of how the churches together lent group you are leading will go

In the flesh today I really couldn't be bothered but I knew in my bones that to not be bothered today was to be disobedient to the Lord. So several times today I've said to the Lord, "OK, with you I choose to be bothered. Help me push through.

And it worked. He did help and I got the victory.

Yippeee!

Carol

Seeking or waiting?

“We seek divine grace today still to obey the call of yesteryear from our Founder, General William Booth: “Go for souls and go for the world souls!” We are called to engage with the lowest. We have to go where they can be found. Salvationism seeks out. It does not sit and wait for the lost to apply for help.” (Shaw Clifton in New Love)

I love that statement. It is what we have been about, particularly for the last 13 as we have been engaged in pioneering Salvation Army work in Ripon and Northallerton. Alan often says he has an “in your face” ministry and that the Salvation Army in Northallerton should “get everywhere” so that people in our town know that we are there for them. Most people in our town are lost but they do not know it so part of our task is to help them to see they need to come home to God.

However I want to add that whilst we do not wait for the lost to apply for help we do need to wait upon the Lord for where to seek them and how to find them. Passion and drive are all very well but we could easily “toil all night and catch nothing” because we have not heard or obeyed the Lord’s command to “throw our nets” in a different direction.

I read this the other day in a sermon somewhere, “The problem too many folk have is a “How can I build a way” mentality. We need to stop trying to make things happen on our own and start looking for the ways God has created.”

These years of planting have been a lesson in keeping the seeking and the waiting in balance.
When we have waited upon the Lord he has always be faithful and directed our paths. He has not let us sit idly by for much time at all. Waiting upon the Lord isn't any less work than trying to build your own way but it has infinitely better results and you don't destroy yourself in the process. Sometimes we have become frustrated and assumed that we had misunderstood God’s leading when results have not been instant or what we expected. But I also praise God that there are those times when we’ve waited upon God, he’s gone with us when we have gone seeking and the lost have been found!

God bless

Carol

Agent Bond

We've just returned from the Yorkshire Divisional Officers Retreat. It will be our last in this division, in which we have served for the past 23 years and it was probably the best.

We have been blessed to have been part of a division that takes risks and has led the way in the UKT in planting new corps and innovative mission but Commissioner Linda Bond was God's agent in these last few days to, as someone said, make sure we have been "shaken and stirred" to press on to greater things.

In the last 3 days I've almost got tired of saying amen I had to say it so often! What I longed for someone to say about covenant, she said, what I longed for someone to say about holiness, she said, what I hoped someone would say about loving the Army and revival in the Army she said. What I longed for her to say about passion for the lost she said. She touched the heart of what it means to be an officer and what it means to be an officer in these days.

And then the Holy Spirit fell upon us and we rushed to the mercy seat, wept, prayed, pledged our lives into his service and stormed the forts of darkness with our exhuberant praise!

And was it all just stirring stuff? I don't believe so. I believe the Salvation Army, Yorkshire, the UKT and maybe the world will see the fruit of what the Holy Spirit did in us in these days.

God bless

Carol

The Home Front

It's been ages since I did a blog. After all the excitement of Ethiopia, finding out our new appointment and the cell church conference my mind seemed to have so much to process that I couldn't seem to get it together for a blog.

I am grateful that life has not been flat and boring, since what for me was a momentous trip. This is not because anything particularly spectacular has happened but because I sense the Lord's hand is upon the future of Northallerton, our appointment to Pill and ministry opportunities I believe God will open up.

And even though there are only a few months left for us in Northallerton, there is I believe more that God has for us to do on this home front before we leave. So this blog is just a little update of where we are now.

Our little fellowship have to face the fact that as well as losing their "founding pastors" from July they will no longer have full time leadership. This is hard for them but they are showing some real backbone. They have responded with faith, and an openness to do what it takes to keep the flag flying. We love them.

Some in our fellowship have some health concerns so we had a healing service on Sunday and whilst we are believing for physical healing the whole process of reaching out in love for the needs of one another is deepening relationships.

The parents group I run at the school is growing and I really pray that this can be kept going. Just recently the Family Tracing Service was able to put one of the mums in touch with her Dad who she hasn't seen since she was a small child. The group were also really interested in my Ethiopia trip. I couldn't explain the pictures I showed them, without telling them the testimonies of the people they were seeing, so it was a brilliant opportunity to share faith in a natural way. A dad that has joined the group has SA connections and is interested in Alpha. The Kid's Alive club is also busier than it has ever been.


Alan continues to work in the town centre. He has so many contacts that it takes ages to walk from one end of the High Street to the other! He is planning to walk up it on Good Friday carrying a cross. A number of us have said we will go with him. The police are fine about it but there are still some daft "more than our jobs worth" restrictions to overcome from the council.

In the prison we just keep on with what we are doing. We are blessed at the moment with a Governor who really values Chaplaincy and often drops into our groups. He has recently started going to Church. We just tell the lads about Jesus and they listen, ask questions and some have come to faith. One lad not long ago had the courage to give his testimony in a chapel service which is fantastic.

If you want an easy life you don't decide to become a Church Planter. We have been planting for 13 years so we know that is true. This plant has had its fair share of difficulties and in the past conflicts. Yet God is keeping the promise he gave us from Genesis 26:22 "He named it Rehoboth, saying, "Now the Lord has given us room and we will flourish in the land."

God bless

Carol