More Repentance

I wanted to add that since I wrote about repentance being "to change one'e mind and purpose- turn from our purpose and towards God's purposes" I came across this definition from David Wilkerson (of the Cross and the Switchblade fame)

"The full, literal meaning of the word "repent" in the New Testament is "to feel remorse and self-reproach for one's sins against God; to be contrite, sorry; to want to change direction. The difference in meanings here rests on the word "Want." True repentance includes a desire to change!

That just seemed a more complete definition.

I have also been thinking about how as you experience holiness and grow in grace you have to take sin more seriously.
My sin today seems to be much blacker and Christ's life much whiter. The more I know him the more I hate sin and realise that it is much more ugly and vile than I had ever imagined it to be. It is not that I need to go back and feel condemned again about what Jesus has forgiven. It is not that I feel guilty again about it again but that my eyes have been opened. My sin has grown in size but so has the wonder of my salvation.

Spurgeon testified, "I freely confess that I have a very much greater sorrow for sin today than I had when I came to the Saviour more than thirty years ago. I hate sin more intensely now than I did when I was under conviction. There are some things that I did not know to be sin then, that I know to be sin now. I have a much keener sense of the vileness of my own heart now than when I first came to Christ...

This realisation does not lead to a sense of desperation but the more I see the enormity of my sin and the cost of my salvation the deeper my love for Christ becomes. When the woman who had lived a sinful life anointed Jesus' feet with perfume and tears was criticised by Simon the Pharisee,Jesus pointed out that she the bigger the cancelled debt, the bigger the love for the one who redeemed it.

This is why to feel our sins deeply is a blessing. It leads to deeper love and passion for Christ. As I love Christ more deeply I take all sin seriously, my sorrow for it is not just about how it affects me but how it disappoints my Lord and my desire to change intensifies. I cannot live in peace with sin and compromise.

It's all part of a repentant lifestyle.

Returning to Repentance

We tend to see repentance as what we do when we initially come to Christ and on those occasions when we mess up big time. We can see repentance as a sporadic thing. However I am seeing more and more that it is a lifestyle, that I need what David called a “broken and contrite heart” (Psalm 51)Repentance isn't just for unconverted sinners.

We do of course need to be clear about what we mean by repentance. It is not just feeling remorseful. Judas was remorseful over his betrayal and it led him to suicide.
Many are confused and think repentance is a negative thing because they think it is about abstaining from anything enjoyable in life, continually hanging your head in shame and having a negative self image. Legalists who preach a religion based on keeping rules, acceptance through works and serving your penance perpetuate this idea. True repentance however comes from the Greek word 'Metanoia', which means to change one's mind and purpose - to turn from our purpose and toward God's purposes.

Some would say if repentance is recognizing you have been going in a wrong direction, coming to God in contrition and then turning around and following Jesus, then to live in repentance all the time you must be going round in circles!
I think that I might agree if I didn’t also believe that God can deal decisively with sin and we can live in victory.
I lived for years with a stronghold of fear and a consequent management strategy of trying to control everything. I repeatedly repented of it but also repeatedly fell back into it again. I did go round in a circle of repentance, claiming forgiveness, falling again, repenting, claiming forgiveness falling again, repenting and so on until the Holy Spirit broke in and dealt with the causes at the root of it all and helped me separate truth from lies. I’m not saying that I am never fearful but I am free from the paralyzing fear that dominated my life for years. I don’t have to constantly repent of the habitual sins that went along with the fear because I have been set free. To say that we need to live in repentance does not I believe undermine the truth that full salvation frees us from the bondage of sin.

Neither do I think that it is a morbid, paranoid introspection of our life before God. I have fallen into that one in my time too. I have prayed for revival in my Corps and for people for ten minutes and then spend the next half and hour questioning whether I prayed for them because I really cared about them or because I wanted my corps to grow so that I would not be a failure. That kind of thing is not repentance at all but being self-absorbed. Repentance isn’t me doing amateur spiritual endoscopies on my soul.

So what is it then? I believe that it is a heart and life turned towards Christ, despite the pressure of the world, the flesh and the devil to turn back or take our eyes off him.
Hebrews 12:1-3 seems to me to be the picture of a Christian with a repentant heart and lifestyle. It is a picture of someone who will consciously throw off sin. The writer to the Hebrews says sin so easily entangles us. The person with a repentant heart recognizes their human frailty so it needs to be thrown off. It is someone who is committed to running the race and submitted to the race God sets for them rather than their own way. I leave my ways to follow His ways. The person with a repentant heart daily checks that the race they are running is the one God has marked out for them. When we turn away from our sins, we don’t just turn toward a code of conduct we turn our eyes upon Jesus.

People with repentant hearts know that they are only in the race because of the sacrifice, grace and mercy of God and not because of any merit of their own. They know they have no ability of their own to run well or even stay the course.

It is the Holy Spirit’s presence who acts like an inward coach, warning us of the things ahead or around us that might entangle us or distract our eyes from the goal. A repentant heart is one that constantly listens to his inward voice, seeks his advice and leans upon his encouragement to keep going. It is his powerful presence in our lives that creates the longing to run well in order to bring the Lord honour.


More tomorrow

Carol

A foretaste of heaven and the burden of hell

What a glorious Easter morning we had at the Resource Centre. The singing of Man of Sorrows and Thine be the glory was a forestaste of heaven itself.

We then travelled to our hometown of Bath to spend a few days visiting family. Bath is really a little foretaste of heaven too. Apart from the fact that it has the most beautiful buildings in England, surrounded by gorgeous countryside, we open our mouths and people understand our accents! Not only that there is lardy cake to die for from the local bakery. It is hard to get on missionary service in Yorkshire so we bought a huge one.

But the burden of hell? It has to be Alan's unsaved family. Alan has two families, his birth family and his adopted family. Neither know the Lord.

It was good to sit round the table with Alan's real Mum, one of his brothers, his sister and their families. It was fun,they are nice, the conversation was pleasant but if they don't find Jesus we won't spend eternity with them. It's a burden.

We visited Alan's adopted Dad who brought him up and with whom Alan's adopted sister, her husband and son are staying. There are lots of issues and it is not a happy household. It is no wonder when you know what stuff they are into, in the search for peace and answers. When we got back to the place where we are staying I wrote in my prayer diary. "O Lord, spiritualism, astrology and the Daily Mail, what a combination! They are in a mess but not looking to Jesus for answers. We love them and we try to share our faith sensitively with them when cirucmstances let us get anywhere near a real conversation but the barriers are well and truly up. If they don't find Jesus we won't spend eternity with them. It's a burden.

But we keep on believing and praying that they will come home to the Father.
All things are possible with God. Hallelujah!

God bless

Carol

A good Good Friday

Have you ever had one of those days when you wonder if you are making any difference to world evangelisation at all? That is how Good Friday started for me.

I wasn't helped by an infuriating conversation I had with a man at the Churches Together open air witness that took place at the Market Cross in the centre of Northallerton.
He has only recently moved to our town and recognising me from another meeting we had both attended he came across to speak. He hadn't realised I was a Salvationist and asked the inevitable question. "Where is your hall?"

I explained that we don't have one. We have a small Resource Centre which we use as an office base and prayer room. For larger events we use the Town Hall and very soon we will be conducting our Sunday Worship in a room at the back of the Methodist Church.
"O", he replied so where is the nearest Salvation Army?

Patiently(well almost)I explained that he is standing right next to the Salvation Army indicating some members of our team. We are it.

But he couldn't get it at all, "But where is the nearest Citadel?"

I gave in and told him about Ripon and Darlington, which to him was the proper Salvation Army because they have a building they can call a citadel.

It was interesting because minutes before I had had a conversation with Emily. She moved to Northallerton to be near her family just before Christmas. Her daughter and grandson are committed members of our mission here. Emily's previous church was a proper church. In fact it was a large Cathedral in a major city. She has attended Good Friday services there for the past 30 years. Our meeting in our little Resource Centre down an alleyway is about as far removed from what she is used to as the moon is from Mars. She has never talked about Jesus or faith ever until a prayer day she attended a few weeks ago. Church attendence has been a social activity and a religious habit for her. Yesterday she said that what took place in our Good Friday Service was the most moving experience of her life and her eyes filled with tears. We begin an Alpha Course in her home the week after next.

Her grandson who is 12 was also heard to say that he didn't think that he was always a very good Christian but Good Friday had helped him and he was really amazed that Jesus had died for him, quickly adding that Jesus had died for other people too of course not just him.

It may not look like it, but I think our funny little room down an alleyway might be a citadel after all. Jesus seems to be able to find it anyway and meets with us there. And you know what world evangelisation suddenly seemed possible again?

God bless

Carol

He who has ears let him hear


I have just watched, listened to, been inspired and moved by the inauguration of the General on the webcast. It was obviously a great occassion but it is what is done about the General's prophetic vision and word to us that is crucial this Monday morning.

I am praying that the vision spreads beyond a meeting and goes around the world and captures the hearts, minds and will of every Salvationist.


Amen

First Love

The writings of Basilea Schlink continue to challenge me. She was the co-founder of the Evangelical Sisterhood in Germany, a protestant order which began in 1947 out of a revival among a girls Bible Study group. Basilea Schlink has written extensively and has particularly important things to say about repentance and reconciliation.
(For more information the website is www.kanaan.org)

However at the moment I am reading her book called "Those who love him".
She writes about the "first love" mentioned in Revelation 2:4 She doesn't mince words.

"With a view to this "first love" Jesus sets before us a bold unvarnished question: "Are you a bride or a whore?" The two possibilities are related: it is only possible to become a whore because God has called us to be a bride. The call to love God creates the alternative, that we squander our love faithlessly. Jesus looks to us for the love of a bride. Any other love which possesses our heart bring us into the state of spiritual adultery. If the thoughts and desires of our heart circle about some person, if we give them first place in our hearts, if we desire above all else to be together with them and loved by them, it is whoredom. And if it is not some person who possesses our heart, but rather some thing- my possessions, my health, my work, my favourite pastime it is basically no different."

This does not mean that we are not to love people and things, indeed everything that God has made. Jesus concern is this; that we love all created things in Him, from whom and for whom they were created and not as something independent of him. ......In other words our human situations and attachments are subject to Jesus.

She says much more. As for me....I'm on my knees