Terrible Mother
I am beginning to feel that I am a terrible mother.
On Monday our 18 year old daughter is setting off to travel around Europe by train, on her own!
I've left a gap for the sharp intake of breath every one seems to have when I relate this information. There then follows an incredulous, "Aren't you worried? or "I don't know that I'd let my daughter do that!" One person followed up her comment of "She's brave." with a series of horror stories about abductions!
I also smiled slightly yesterday however at the reaction of the mothers in the parents group I run. They all said that they would not sleep if their daughter was going off on a trip alone and if they did they would have nightmares.
I found it rather ironic because what they would see as normal teenage behaviour for a young girl really would horrify me. I would be far more worried if my daughter was spending all her hard earned cash binge drinking. I would be far more worried if she was going on an 18+ holiday to Majorca. I would be far more worried if she was obsessed with her weight. I would be far more horrified if she was contemplating moving in with her boyfriend, which all of them did when they were her age or younger. I am more concerned about the fact that she didn't agree with me that the bingo game at the pub quiz she went to was gambling!
Actually I am full of admiration for our Hayley and have confidence in her mature, common sense attitude.
I think the difference between me and some of the parents, is that my concern for her is really about what might attack her mind and heart than the physical dangers of travelling alone. And those attacks and pressures have been and will more intense in the work place and at uni than during this trip.
Nevertheless I am not naive and we have put all kinds of safeguards in place for her, like booking accommodation in advance, contacting my cousin who lives in Germany and linking her with a number of SA centres on her carefully planned route and insisting that she phones us every day. And of course first and foremost committing her to God and praying for her every step of the way.
So what do you think?
God bless
Carol
I am beginning to feel that I am a terrible mother.
On Monday our 18 year old daughter is setting off to travel around Europe by train, on her own!
I've left a gap for the sharp intake of breath every one seems to have when I relate this information. There then follows an incredulous, "Aren't you worried? or "I don't know that I'd let my daughter do that!" One person followed up her comment of "She's brave." with a series of horror stories about abductions!
I also smiled slightly yesterday however at the reaction of the mothers in the parents group I run. They all said that they would not sleep if their daughter was going off on a trip alone and if they did they would have nightmares.
I found it rather ironic because what they would see as normal teenage behaviour for a young girl really would horrify me. I would be far more worried if my daughter was spending all her hard earned cash binge drinking. I would be far more worried if she was going on an 18+ holiday to Majorca. I would be far more worried if she was obsessed with her weight. I would be far more horrified if she was contemplating moving in with her boyfriend, which all of them did when they were her age or younger. I am more concerned about the fact that she didn't agree with me that the bingo game at the pub quiz she went to was gambling!
Actually I am full of admiration for our Hayley and have confidence in her mature, common sense attitude.
I think the difference between me and some of the parents, is that my concern for her is really about what might attack her mind and heart than the physical dangers of travelling alone. And those attacks and pressures have been and will more intense in the work place and at uni than during this trip.
Nevertheless I am not naive and we have put all kinds of safeguards in place for her, like booking accommodation in advance, contacting my cousin who lives in Germany and linking her with a number of SA centres on her carefully planned route and insisting that she phones us every day. And of course first and foremost committing her to God and praying for her every step of the way.
So what do you think?
God bless
Carol
posted by Rehoboth at
10:24 AM
2 Comments:
I'm sure she'll have the time of her life and value your trust in her!
:o)
Andrew
By
Captain Andrew Clark, at 4:43 PM
My eldest is 17 in a couple of weeks.
When he was just a few weeks old I remember being so concerned about my inability to protect him - both from the dangers of the outside world and from my occasionally incompetent parenting.
And it occurred to me that not matter how hard I tried I could never protect him from everything and I should just hand him over to God. At that moment I had a great sense of peace. Not that I think nothing bad will ever happen to him but I trust him to God’s care.
It was one of those moments when something you’ve always know in your head becomes a reality.
How great for Hayley to have a Mum who trusts her and admires her – probably why she is confident enough to travel on her own and doesn’t have hang ups over drinking, weight, and sex.
God bless her – hope she has a great time.
But have another word with her about the bingo! :-)
By
Heather's place, at 2:52 PM
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