Stewing
I was going to write the following as a response to Heather as Heather's Place (see Armybloggers) but as I got started I realised I had too much to say for a comment and anyway what Heather shares is something I feel a lot of women in particular do when faced with criticism, confrontation or conflict.
That is we tend to stew!
I have been quite an expert in "stewing" on stuff in my time so I thought a few tips on how to get over it might help.
1. Try telling someone else you trust who isn't directly involved. Having to put our worries and reactions into words usually reduces their size dramatically. If you can't do that write them down and read them back.
2. Choose someone who will not just tell you to forget about it just because they will do anything to make you feel better. Real friends will tell you if you've messed up, will often recognise where you are making mountains out of molehills and will reassure you that you are still worth knowing and loving.
3. Make a point in your prayer time of specifically off-loading the situation and your feelings. Wait upon God to receive his forgiveness and empowering.
4. Don't spend your whole prayer time on the issue. Stewing is not the same as praying. I think it is very important to adopt a framework of prayer because it helps to focus upon other stuff whilst at the same time acknowledging whats going on.
Personally I often use Weatherhead's Private House of Prayer, which uses the picture of prayer being like a house of rooms. Each room features a different aspect of prayer. Room 1 is Affirming the Presence of God, Room 2 Praise and adoration, Room 3 Confession and Offloading, Room 4 Receiving from God (including forgiveness), Room 5 Expressing Purified Desires and Room 6 Intercession and Room 7 Meditation.
For me this gets my feelings into perspective, gives me something to do with them but also turns my focus upwards to God and outwards to the needs of others.
4. It can be helpful to do something symbolic to express that you are putting off your anxiety, the burden or failure. For example write it down on a chalkboard, or pick up stones that represent the issues. Then in the light of the promises of God to cleanse, forgive, heal and help, rub out what you have written or put down the stones one by one. But don't forget to spend some time receiving the forgiveness, healing,etc.
5. Check your diary. I'm serious. I've often mistaken conviction of sin and demonic attack for PMT!
That's it from Auntie Carol
God bless
I was going to write the following as a response to Heather as Heather's Place (see Armybloggers) but as I got started I realised I had too much to say for a comment and anyway what Heather shares is something I feel a lot of women in particular do when faced with criticism, confrontation or conflict.
That is we tend to stew!
I have been quite an expert in "stewing" on stuff in my time so I thought a few tips on how to get over it might help.
1. Try telling someone else you trust who isn't directly involved. Having to put our worries and reactions into words usually reduces their size dramatically. If you can't do that write them down and read them back.
2. Choose someone who will not just tell you to forget about it just because they will do anything to make you feel better. Real friends will tell you if you've messed up, will often recognise where you are making mountains out of molehills and will reassure you that you are still worth knowing and loving.
3. Make a point in your prayer time of specifically off-loading the situation and your feelings. Wait upon God to receive his forgiveness and empowering.
4. Don't spend your whole prayer time on the issue. Stewing is not the same as praying. I think it is very important to adopt a framework of prayer because it helps to focus upon other stuff whilst at the same time acknowledging whats going on.
Personally I often use Weatherhead's Private House of Prayer, which uses the picture of prayer being like a house of rooms. Each room features a different aspect of prayer. Room 1 is Affirming the Presence of God, Room 2 Praise and adoration, Room 3 Confession and Offloading, Room 4 Receiving from God (including forgiveness), Room 5 Expressing Purified Desires and Room 6 Intercession and Room 7 Meditation.
For me this gets my feelings into perspective, gives me something to do with them but also turns my focus upwards to God and outwards to the needs of others.
4. It can be helpful to do something symbolic to express that you are putting off your anxiety, the burden or failure. For example write it down on a chalkboard, or pick up stones that represent the issues. Then in the light of the promises of God to cleanse, forgive, heal and help, rub out what you have written or put down the stones one by one. But don't forget to spend some time receiving the forgiveness, healing,etc.
5. Check your diary. I'm serious. I've often mistaken conviction of sin and demonic attack for PMT!
That's it from Auntie Carol
God bless
posted by Rehoboth at
2:14 PM
3 Comments:
This comment is from Alan, Carol's husband.
I am in total agreement with point 5.
As I was typing this carol just shouted from the landing, what's my excuss, sorry, I haven't got one.
By
Rehoboth, at 2:44 PM
I hate to interrupt a family conversation but I need to say thanks - both for the advice and for taking the time to post it.
I'm trying to think of a better way to say "I'll give it a try". But it's too late for eloquence so I'll just say "thanks, it makes sense - I'll give it a try".
I have stopped stewing on this one and have a better perspective now.
But I do need to get better at dealing with things like this. It's all part of my approval addiction - but that's for another day :-)
I often end up as Auntie Heather so I appreciate the role reversal.
Thanks again
PS glad the BBQ went well.
By
Heather's place, at 3:50 PM
Me in Trouble, NEVER.
Alan.
By
Rehoboth, at 1:58 PM
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